Episode 7 of The Ultimate Fighter (TUF) Season 10 gets underway and Rampage opens the show with his impression of Rashad Evans getting knocked silly by Lyoto Machida back at UFC 98. He also endears himself to GLAAD by calling him “Gayshad.”
Coach Evans responds by pairing up Matt Mitrione against Scott Junk for the next elimination fight. Junk, aside from having the greatest name in the business, has some Octagon experience under his belt and could be the one to break Team Evans’ undefeated streak.
That leaves Marcus Jones versus Michael Wessel for Episode 8.
Shortly after the picks, we get the “War of Words” this show was built around and since we’ve already seen it ad nauseam thanks to the power of the ‘Net, it has little impact.
The fact that Rampage is somewhere in Hollywood driving a black van instead of prepping for UFC 107 isn’t helping matters either.
During the break we get what can only be described as an advertising fail as the throaty UFC announcer pimps Swine Flu vs. Whine Flu for UFC 106, despite the fact that it’s already been canceled.
Back at the house, it seems Mitrione has been passing notes during study hall. When read aloud they say something to the effect of “Mike Wessel is a pussy.” Meathead thinks Marcus Jones put the fear of God in Wessel and decided to let the entire house know it.
Mitrione then rambles on about the voices in his head — and something about demons. While I’m sure he was trying to play the crazy card, he instead comes off as desperate. I’m afraid not even Fedor’s bearded super-priest can save this lost soul.
In contrast, Junk gets in the confessional and talks about fighting with heart. He sounds pretty convincing and looks good in the cage throwing leather. He also calls Mitrione a scumbag, presumably for running his mouth day in and day out.
The next morning Jon Madsen gets irked because Mitrione is sucking down all of his orange juice. Meathead contends that it’s for the house, not just the lips of Madsen, who also threatens to slap him. Mitrione appears not to hear him so it doesn’t escalate…yet.
No word on whether it was pulp or pulp free.
So not coincidentally they get picked to spar in the gym and told to go 60-percent in the first few minutes. Meathead ignores the orders and lets it fly. Madsen walks away after taking too much abuse and Mitrione blows a gasket, screaming and flailing his arms.
Coach Evans blasts him in the locker room and tells him to save the “bullshit aggression” for his fight and not his team mates. Mitrione tries to hulk up and look tough but Evans is hardly intimidated.
Meathead can’t take the scolding and walks off the set.
Later in the show he goes out to shoot hoops and the rest of the house starts laying odds as to when “The Rat” is going to snap. Wes Sims decides to expedite the process by dressing up like a ninja, running up behind him and pressing his manhood against him.
They meet up again in the house and Mitrione warns him not to touch him ever again. Sims responds by jumping into a variety of karate poses.
Junk starts thinking about Mitrione during breakfast and promises to start banging him. Uh, I’m sure he meant “stand and bang.” Marcus Jones begins to feel sorry for the beating Mitrione is going to take.
Aside from doing any actual training, Mitrione is having conversations with his wife and friends inside his head. Junk on the other hand has been talking only to himself — about beating the crap out of Matt Mitrione.
Heavyweight elimination fight #7: Scott Junk (6-2-1) vs. Matt Mitrione (2-0)
Round 1: Coach Evans spins his cap around like Lincoln Hawk. Mitrione jabs and drops Junk in a quick flurry but Junk is unharmed. He jumps up but gets clipped again and falls. Mitrione tries to finish but Junk is too fresh and gets back to his feet. Junk kicks, gets his leg caught and gets dropped again. Luckily this isn’t boxing with a three-knockdown rule. On his feet for two seconds and Junk falls, possibly by his own volition. He’s back up and Mitrione is wailing on him. Failed shoot turns into Junk clinging to Mitrione’s ankle like a kid getting dragged out of Toys R Us. Junk looking like, well, Junk. Mitrione appears gassed, presumably from pounding on Junk for three and a half minutes. Junk pushes him to the cage and then takes a rest. They make their way back to the center of the Octagon and Junk starts landing big shots. Mitrione is too gassed to do anything but absorb punishment. Junk runs out of steam too and it quickly turns ugly, with two flabby heavyweights throwing airballs in slow motion. Grotesque. Round over.
Round 2: Dana revels in the excitement of the fight. A true promoter. Mitrione throwing marshmallow jabs and a eats a hard right from Junk. Inside kick from Mitrione. Another. Junk stalking. Mitrione sucking wind. Junk shoots, and I use that term loosely, and wrestles Mitrione to the ground. Mitrione has the guard of a dead spider. Referee Josh Rosenthal has seen enough (cough) “ground work” and stands them up. Unfortunately it’s just as ugly on the feet. Mitrione eats a huge right and staggers around like Shemp when he needed cheese. Both guys are beyond exhausted. Mitrione tries a fading backhanded bitch-slap. If this wasn’t in a gym with Dana White cageside I’d swear it was Bum Fights: Las Vegas. Round ends. Mercifully, so does the fight.
Matt Mitrione defeats Scott Junk by majority decision.
After the fight, Rampage goes ape-shit and breaks down the gym door in a homage to Brock Lesnar’s UFC 100 video fail. Ironically, Rampage versus the door is the season’s best fight.
Stay tuned next week as Marcus Jones flies off the handle, Darryl Schoonover gets in Rampage’s face (again), and we have the final elimination match before the semifinals.
See you in seven!
